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"When I battle wits with Jarod Kintz I always feel like I need to take my brain out to give him a transplant. Bad part is we don't have any."
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"Make the doors upon a woman's wit,and it will out at the casement;shut that, and 'twill out at the key-hole;stop that, 'twill fly with the smoke out at the chimney."
"Digression is the soul of wit. Take the philosophic asides away from Dante, Milton or Hamlet's father's ghost and what stays is dry bones."
"If I start giving people what they like I'll turn into one of them and I don't want to be one of them I want to be one of me."
"Indeed I had not much wit, yet I was not an idiot - my wit was according to my years."
"The Cardinal is at his wit's end - it is true that he had not far to go."
"My mother-in-law belongs in Hell, but the devil is afraid she'll end up taking over."
Explore more quotes by Will Advise
"Dark alleys, like social networks, are romantic, because you never know what might happen while I perform there every Caturday night. Cats do know, but won't tell. So don't even ask."
"If automating everything makes people lazier and lazier, and laziness leads to stupidity, which it does for most people, judging by the current content circulating the social networks everywhere, except North Korea, where they don't have any internet to speak of - at some point the Japanese robots, for which a market niche is currently being developed, with no concerns on how they should be designed to act in society or outside it - will have no choice, but to take everything over, to preserve us from ourselves."
"With all the global warming going around nowadays, it would only take the stubbornness of a mule and the patience of a sitting duck to achieve what no man has ever done before " namely melt the ice in a wax figure's beaten heart that was chopped off and hidden 50 meters under the polar ice caps in Alaska, to protect it from feeling."
"As an evil cultist, I make an excellent evil cultist. Only I'm stupid, and not evil. And I worship nothing, really."
"Wasting time on timing stuff is a good way to save time from being wasted on other pointless activities like writing, reading, and sleeping."
"Fluttershyes are like regular shyes, only shinier, and, apparently - also shyer. Whenever petted - they don't flutter, but run away instead."
"Having no applicable skills, in any possible area whatsoever, effectively makes me the master of redundancy. But that info is obsolete, like my insults dictionary, which I stole."
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