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"When I battle wits with Jarod Kintz I always feel like I need to take my brain out to give him a transplant. Bad part is we don't have any."
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"Artemis: 'Right, brothers. Onward. Imagine yourself seated at a cafe in Montmartre.'Myles: 'In Paris.'Artemis: 'Yes, Paris. And try as you will, you cannot attract the waiter's attention. What do you do?'Beckett: 'Umm...tell Butler to jump-jump-jump on his head?'Myles: 'I agree with simple-toon.'Artemis: 'No! You simply raise one finger and say clearly 'ici, garcon.'Beckett: 'Itchy what?"
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Personal Development
"Oh, I can't help quoting you, because everything that you said rings true."
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Personal Development
"Gabe scratched his double chin. "Maybe if you hurry with the seven-layer dip...And maybe if the kid apologizes for interrupting my poker game."Maybe if I kick you in your soft spot, I thought. And make you sing Soprano for a week."
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Personal Development
"The Cardinal is at his wit's end - it is true that he had not far to go."
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Personal Development
"He who has provoked the lash of wit, cannot complain that he smarts from it."
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Personal Development
"She complains that I'm lazy, but I just like to save my energy for dinner."
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Personal Development
"I am often the brunt of my own humor."
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Personal Development
"Conversation of the Day - He: How do you describe yourself in two words?Me: You don't."
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Personal Development
"What is perfectly true is perfectly witty."
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Personal Development
"Digression is the soul of wit. Take the philosophic asides away from Dante, Milton or Hamlet's father's ghost and what stays is dry bones."
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"An imaginary friend once asked me why Americans can't stand Russia. The answer was cold, deadly, silent, and, well expected. It's because in Soviet Russia nothing happens anymore, because it doesn't exist anymore. And Americans are all about happenings. If there isn't one " they don't go where it isn't, because there isn't anything to happen to them there."
Satire
"I flow like a butter in the nailed pan I stole. I also kept the nail, to polish and use as a means of teleportation."
Absurdity
"Some people are so much heaven to the square inch that life is simply hell, when she leaves you in order to go south for the winter. (Yes, women are people too, sometimes even threee.)"
Love
"A book about books is like a poem about poetry:Books are knowledge, paid for, all.Readers - horses in a stall.Stallions should always run.Lest they stale become, in turn.Running waters are most clear.In some books, you disappear "lose yourself, and track of time.How I wish that one was mine...Mine, to have, to write, to read...Mine, just like a flying steed.Mine, forever, - to improve.Would I then, of me, approve?I would not, I can't... myself.I'm but dust, swept off a shelf.Fly, can I, just 'til I'm settled,down, beside my flower, petalled."
Knowledge
"To fall in love twice, with the same person, you need to grow another heart. That's all I do in my secret underground laboratory at night..."
Fantasy
"Nostalgia is missing what might come back."
Nostalgia
"Once a cat loves you, it loves you till the end."
Relationship
"Life is always just to learn."
Life
"I'll make a book on learning how to be a complete moron someday, and I'm sure no one will buy it, because everyone will have mastered that already by the time I gather enough moronism to process it into digestible upgrade instructions for your average village cyborg-idiot."
Humor
"I sometimes go to a mythical place called 'workplace', where the doable is always unpassable as possible, especially when it pisses you off."
Work
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