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"Frozen yogurt is tastier than ice cream; nobody is too old for cartoons; bald men are sexy; chocolate is the best medicine; BIG books are better; cats secretly rule the planet; and everything should be available in the color pink, including monster trucks."
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Personal Development
"Fun is a good thing but only when it spoils nothing better."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Working is hard and distracts from having fun."
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Personal Development
"Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion."
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Personal Development
"Great, big, serious novels always get awards. If it's a battle between a great, big, serious novel and a funny novel, the funny novel is doomed."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm one of those writers who tends to be really good at making outlines and sticking to them. I'm very good at doing that, but I don't like it. It sort of takes a lot of the fun out."
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Personal Development
"A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It's funny how you never think about the women you've had. It's always the ones who get away that you can't forget."
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Personal Development
"Tell me that the purpose of life is to have fun, and without a care in the world I'll begin wreaking havoc on everything I pass. Now that's what I call pure, honest fun."
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Personal Development
"Fun is never gone because life is fun."
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Personal Development
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"Having sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
Relationship
"I am going to give my psychoanalyst one more year then I'm going to Lourdes."
Spiritual
"I believe people ought to mate for life...like pigeons or Catholics."
Relationship
"Maugham then offers the greatest advice anyone could give to a young author: "At the end of an interrogation sentence, place a question mark. You'd be surprised how effective it can be."
Writing
"The most expensive sex is free sex."
Behavior
"When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back."
Behavior
"When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room."
Action
"I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers and they are going to make a game out of it."
Creativity
"You want to make God laugh? Tell him your future plans."
Humor
"Ninety percent of living is just showing up."
Life
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