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"Someone has to do it. It's all very well calling for eye of newt, but do you mean Common, Spotted or Great Crested? Which eye, anyway? Will tapioca do just as well? If we substitute egg white will the spell a) work b) fail or c) melt the bottom out of the cauldron? Goodie Whemper's curiosity about such things was huge and insatiable*.* Nearly insatiable. It was probably satiated in her last flight to test whether a broomstick could survive having its bristles pulled out one by one in mid-air. According to the small black raven she had trained as a flight recorder, the answer was almost certainly no."
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"Getting to know who you are is the most essential information that you can find out about yourself."

"You need to know the constituency you belong to...and that is revealed by your constituents. When your constituents are speaking in public and making of stories, your constituency can be "journalism"."

"No one knows it all. Asking questions about the things that you don't know doesn't make you unintelligent. You don't have a million years on earth to make all the mistakes in the world and learn from them. You can learn from better informed people, and save yourself the headaches that come from making too many avoidable mistakes."
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"He was certain he was anorectic, because every time he looked in a mirror he saw a fat man. It was the Archchancellor, standing behind him and shouting at him."


"And that's when I first learned about evil. It is built in to the very nature of the universe. Every world spins in pain. If there is any kind of supreme being, I told myself, it is up to all of us to become his moral superior."


"First draft: let it run. Turn all the knobs up to 11. Second draft: hell. Cut it down and cut it into shape. Third draft: comb its nose and blow its hair. I usually find that most of the book will have handed itself to me on that first draft."


"There have been times, lately, when I dearly wished that I could change the past. Well, I can't, but I can change the present, so that when it becomes the past it will turn out to be a past worth having."


"That's the fashion. Fast as the speed of light, they say. Ha! It's got no soul, sir, no heart."


"He stared at his feet. "I'm still very ignorant, he said, "but at least I'm ignorant about really important things."


"Time was something that largely happened to other people; he viewed it in the same way that people on the shore viewed the sea. It was big and it was out there, and sometimes it was an invigorating thing to dip a toe into, but you couldn't live in it all the time. Besides, it always made his skin wrinkle."


"Ye mustn't be afraid to ask for help. Pride is a good thing, my girl, but it will kill you in time."


"Nanny Ogg looked under her bed in case there was a man there. Well, you never knew your luck."
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