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"My parents didn't raise me to be religious. The closest we come to worship is the Trinity of Visa, Mastercard, and American Express. I think the Merryweather cheerleaders confuse me because I missed out on Sunday School. It has to be a miracle. There is no other explanation. How else could they sleep with the football team on Saturday night and be reincarnated as virginal goddesses on Monday?"
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"A satirist that criticizes religion is seen as a satanist."
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Personal Development
"Most priests wish they were as righteous as they seem to most members of their congregations."
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Personal Development
"Only the Prince of Peace gives peace."
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Personal Development
"There was only one guy in the whole Bible Jesus ever personally promised a place with him in Paradise. Not Peter, not Paul, not any of those guys. He was a convicted thief, being executed. So don't knock the guys on death row. Maybe they know something you don't."
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Personal Development
"A universe with a God would look quite different from a universe without one. A physics, a biology where there is a God is bound to look different. So the most basic claims of religion are scientific. Religion is a scientific theory."
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Personal Development
"The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes."
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Personal Development
"Keep your hope in the Lord."
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Personal Development
"Religion is a cultural relic inherited from ancient civilizations that doctrinal influence persists globally in modern times. Religious people rely upon their notional belief in the primal innocence of human beings in order to support the abstract supposition of inherently benevolent God guiding human souls."
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Personal Development
"Unlike most other world religions, Buddhism has never been too rigid in its structure."
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Personal Development
"A strange fanaticism fills our time: the fanatical hatred of morality, especially of Christian morality."
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"Why are you being so mean?''Friends tell friends the truth.''yeah, but not to hurt, to help."
Integrity
"Tell me this is a nightmare."
Emotion
"I picked up one of the books and flipped through it. Don't get me wrong, I like reading. But some books should come with warning labels: Caution: contains characters and plots guaranteed to induce sleepiness. Do not attempt to operate heavy machinery after ingesting more than one chapter. Has been known to cause blindness, seizures and a terminal loathing of literature. Should only be taken under the supervision of a highly trained English teacher. Preferably one who grades on the curve."
Satire
"And that's the problem. When you'realive, people can hurt you. It's easier to crawl into a bonecage or a snowdrift of confusion. It's easier to lock everybodyout.But it's a lie."
Resilience
"If I had lady-spider legs, I would weave a sky where the stars lined up. Matresses would be tied down tight to their trucks, bodies would never crash through windshields. The moon would rise above the wine-dark sea and give babies only to maidens and musicians who had prayed long and hard. Lost girls wouldn't need compasses or maps. They would find gingerbread paths to lead them out of the forest and home again. They would never sleep in silver boxes with white velvet sheets, not until they were wrinkled-paper grandmas and ready for the trip."
Imagination
"If I ever form a clan, we'll be the anti-cheerleaders and walk under the bleacher forming mild acts of mayhem."
Rebellion
"I just thought of a great theory that explains everything. When I went to that party, I was abducted by aliens. They have created a fake Earth and fake high school to study me and my reactions. This certainly explains cafeteria food."
Imagination
"The night sky stretched on forever above me, the stars flung like glass beads and pearls on a black velvet cloak."
Nature
"We tilt our heads back and open wide. The snow drifts into our zombie mouths crawling with grease and curses and tobacco flakes and cavities and boyfriend/girlfriend juice, the stain of lies. For one moment we are not failed tests and broken condoms and cheating on essays; we are crayons and lunch boxes and swinging so high our sneakers punch holes in the clouds. For one breath everything feels better.Then it melts.The bus drivers rev their engines and the ice cloud shatters. Everyone shuffles forward. They don't know what just happened. They can't remember."
Youth
"My only choice was to fight my way out, even if I didn't think I would make it."
Survival
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