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"I quit smoking well over twenty years ago."
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"Nobody should smoke cigarettes - and smoking with an ulcer is like pouring gasoline on a burning house."

"You're always better off if you quit smoking; it's never too late."

"Impotence is one of the major hazards of cigarette smoking."

"Smoking is hateful to the nose, harmful to the brain, and dangerous to the lungs."

"Smoking is related to practically every terrible thing that can happen to you."

"Oh yeah, the preacher's kid has to be the baddest one. If everyone is smoking weed, we've got to smoke crack. If you're throwing rocks, we've got to throw bigger rocks."

"I would be very proud to have influenced anyone that I know or don't know to quit smoking."
Explore more quotes by Shelley Berman


"I am presently in my thirteenth year of teaching a graduate course at the University of Southern California."


"The Steve Allen Sunday night show had the right to two options after my first performance."


"The most memorable performance was my appearance in concert in Carnegie Hall. The first standup to do so."


"While you're improvising, you may come up with something which will break him up. As soon as that smile comes out, you know that, hey, we're having fun."


"The old problems - love, money, security, status, health, etc. - are still here to plague us or please us."


"As a culture I see us as presently deprived of subtleties. The music is loud, the anger is elevated, sex seems lacking in sweetness and privacy."


"As much experience, education and awareness as one can attain is important for a comedian."
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