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"I quit smoking well over twenty years ago."
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"Smoking is hateful to the nose, harmful to the brain, and dangerous to the lungs."

"You're always better off if you quit smoking; it's never too late."

"Nobody should smoke cigarettes - and smoking with an ulcer is like pouring gasoline on a burning house."

"Smoking is related to practically every terrible thing that can happen to you."

"I would be very proud to have influenced anyone that I know or don't know to quit smoking."

"Oh yeah, the preacher's kid has to be the baddest one. If everyone is smoking weed, we've got to smoke crack. If you're throwing rocks, we've got to throw bigger rocks."

"Impotence is one of the major hazards of cigarette smoking."
Explore more quotes by Shelley Berman


"While you're improvising, you may come up with something which will break him up. As soon as that smile comes out, you know that, hey, we're having fun."


"As a culture I see us as presently deprived of subtleties. The music is loud, the anger is elevated, sex seems lacking in sweetness and privacy."


"I am in the Master of Professional Writing program teaching Humor Writing, Literary and Dramatic."


"The Steve Allen Sunday night show had the right to two options after my first performance."


"As much experience, education and awareness as one can attain is important for a comedian."


"The old problems - love, money, security, status, health, etc. - are still here to plague us or please us."
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