"I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order."

Family, Mother, Order

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"I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order."

Exlpore more Family quotes

"Father, I know you will hear me, I will speak."

Lailah Gifty Akita, Ghanaian Author

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"Children are angels."

Lailah Gifty Akita, Ghanaian Author

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"We come into the world through a man and a woman. But life blessings us with many fathers and mothers."

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"A new baby is a bundle of hope, a smiling imagination, and a dancing dreams."

Debasish Mridha, American Author

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"The real beauty of a house is always the happiness inside that house!"

Mehmet Murat ildan, Turkish Philosopher

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"A philanderer cannot be a parent - a parent cannot be a philanderer."

Abhijit Naskar, Indian Author

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"We grow up opposing our parents only to become like them enough to oppose our children who behave as we once did-a reminder of how dreadful we were toward those now vindicated grandparents. And you thought God had no sense of humor."

Richelle E. Goodrich, American Poet

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"A healthy world is made of healthy nations. A healthy nation is made of healthy families. And a healthy family can only be raised on the foundation of a monogamous relationship."

Abhijit Naskar, Indian Author

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"Grandchildren are their grandparents' toys."

Mokokoma Mokhonoana, South African Philosopher

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"Children are holy angels."

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Explore more quotes by Erma Bombeck

"My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?"

Fire

"How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?"

Will

"I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair."

Old

"A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat."

Friendship

"In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet."

Humor

"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."

Car

"Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it."

Computer

"I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars."

Woman

"Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother."

Wisdom

"Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? If you have just answered, "A house guest," you're wrong because I have just described my kids."

Family