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"All of the religions - with the exception of Tibetan Buddhism, which doesn't believe in a heaven - teach that heaven is a better place. At the end of the program, I say that heaven is a place where you are happy. All of the religions have that in common."
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"A satirist that criticizes religion is seen as a satanist."
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Personal Development

"Most priests wish they were as righteous as they seem to most members of their congregations."
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Personal Development

"Only the Prince of Peace gives peace."
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Personal Development

"There is a heroism in crime as well as in virtue. Vice and infamy have their altars and their religion."
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Personal Development

"There was only one guy in the whole Bible Jesus ever personally promised a place with him in Paradise. Not Peter, not Paul, not any of those guys. He was a convicted thief, being executed. So don't knock the guys on death row. Maybe they know something you don't."
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Personal Development

"A Unitarian very earnestly disbelieves what everyone else believes."
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Personal Development

"A universe with a God would look quite different from a universe without one. A physics, a biology where there is a God is bound to look different. So the most basic claims of religion are scientific. Religion is a scientific theory."
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Personal Development

"The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes."
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Personal Development

"Keep your hope in the Lord."
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Personal Development

"Religion is a cultural relic inherited from ancient civilizations that doctrinal influence persists globally in modern times. Religious people rely upon their notional belief in the primal innocence of human beings in order to support the abstract supposition of inherently benevolent God guiding human souls."
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"To not sing with an orchestra, to not be able to communicate through my voice, which I've done all my life, and not to be able to phrase lyrics and give people that kind of joy, I think I would be totally devastated."
Life

"I can get a better grasp of what is going on in the world from one good Washington dinner party than from all the background information NBC piles on my desk."
Information

"One may walk over the highest mountain one step at a time."
Time

"The world may be full of fourth-rate writers but it's also full of fourth-rate readers."
Writing

"Before we had airplanes and astronauts, we really thought that there was an actual place beyond the clouds, somewhere over the rainbow. There was an actual place, and we could go above the clouds and find it.there."
Thought

"All of the religions - with the exception of Tibetan Buddhism, which doesn't believe in a heaven - teach that heaven is a better place. At the end of the program, I say that heaven is a place where you are happy. All of the religions have that in common."
Religion

"I also found that for myself, since I've had no religious education, it was so interesting to see the different versions of heaven and what life on earth means."
Life

"First of all, the Jewish religion has a great deal in common with the Christian religion because, as Rabbi Gillman points out in the show, Christianity is based on Judaism. Christ was Jewish."
Religion

"Although I myself don't go to church or synagogue, I do, whether it's superstition or whatever, pray every time I get on a plane. I just automatically do it. I say the same thing every time."
Time

"A man cannot be made comfortable without his own approval."
Life
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