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"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."
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Personal Development
"Pardon my French if you're a religious man.''I am,' Bill said, grinning.'Then get outta my cab and go to fucking church,' the cabbie said, and they both burst out laughing."
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Personal Development
"Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? Youtake delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves.""You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. Theyare my old friends. I have heard you mention them with considerationthese last twenty years at least."
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Personal Development
"You can be a little ungrammatical if you come from the right part of the country."
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Personal Development
"April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four."
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Personal Development
"Did you hear what I was playing, Lane?I didn't think it polite to listen, sir."
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Personal Development
"Never try to out-stubborn a cat."
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Personal Development
"In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards."
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Personal Development
"I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries."
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Personal Development
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"Of all ghosts, the ghosts of our old loves are the worst."
Memory
"It is a mistake to confound strangeness with mystery. The most commonplace crime is often the most mysterious because it presents no new or special features from which deductions may be drawn. This murder would have been infinitely more difficult to unravel had the body of the victim been simply found lying in the roadway without any of those outré and sensational accompaniments which have rendered it remarkable. These strange details, far from making the case more difficult, have really had the effect of making it less so."
Crime
"The chief proof of man's real greatness lies in his perception of his own smallness."
Wisdom
"He was, I take it, the most perfect reasoning and observing machine that the world has seen, but as a lover he would have placed himself in a false position. He never spoke of the softer passions, save with a gibe and a sneer. They were admirable things for the observer- excellent for drawing the veil from men's motives and actions. But for the trained observer to admit such intrusions into his own delicate and finely adjusted temperament was to introduce a distracting factor which might throw a doubt upon all his mental results. Grit in a sensitive instrument, or a crack in one of his own high-power lenses, would not be more disturbing than a strong emotion in a nature such as his."
Psychology
"Sherlock Holmes and I surveyed this curt announcement and the rueful face behind it, until the comical side of the affair so completely overtopped every other consideration that we both burst out into a roar of laughter."
Humor
"Problems may be solved in the study which have baffled all those who have sought a solution by the aid of their senses. To carry the art, however, to its highest pitch, it is necessary that the reasoner should be able to use all the facts which have come to his knowledge; and this in itself implies, as you will readily see, a possession of all knowledge, which, even in these days of free education and encyclopaedias, is a somewhat rare accomplishment."
Knowledge
"To underestimate oneself is as much an exaggeration of one's powers than the other."
Self-Hood
"Everything I have to say has already crossed your mind.""Then possibly my answer has crossed yours."
Wisdom
"The charlatan is always the pioneer... The quack of yesterday is the professor of tomorrow."
Society
"A man always finds it hard to realize that he may have finally lost a woman's love, however badly he may have treated her."
Heartbreak
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