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"I'm interested in playing old ladies because I am becoming one. And I want to become a very good one!"
Author Name
Personal Development

"Tampa's crazy... The ladies in Tampa come in all flavors. I felt like I was at Dairy Queen."
Author Name
Personal Development

"Ladies and gentlemen, I wish I had better news for you but we are facing a storm that most of us have feared. This is a threat that we've never faced before."
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Personal Development

"I sat through Ladies and Gentlemen, the Rolling Stones like three times at the Skyway when it came out."
Author Name
Personal Development

"I am no longer married, so ladies... there you go."
Author Name
Personal Development

"I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments."
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Personal Development

"Dressing up as decrepit old ladies, and even decrepit young ladies, was one of our staples."
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Personal Development

"The ladies looked one another over with microscopic carelessness."
Author Name
Personal Development

"I don't like traditions, I am very personal, very independent, I don't like intimate ladies, I mean in German lieder there's a lot of copy, a lot of imitation, a lot of tradition, and this I have put it aside."
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Personal Development

"Parvesh Cheena is a real treat for the ladies."
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Personal Development
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"President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he didn't need the approval of the American voters to become president, either."
War

"Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?"
Health

"Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It's all part of Woody's plan to grow his own wives."
Daughter

"I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host."
Dance

"President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can't pronounce Schwarzenegger."
President

"We have defeated Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The good news is Iraq is ours, and the bad news is Iraq is ours."
Iraq

"It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?"
Now

"Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are about 90% water."
People

"We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going to be tough because it's been 25 years since this guy has gotten laid in the private sector."
Fun

"USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population."
People
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