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"We, Norton I, do hereby decree that the offices of President, Vice President, and Speaker of the House of Representatives are, from and after this date, abolished."
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"A President's hardest task is not to do what is right, but to know what is right."
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Personal Development
"As far as my relationship with President Putin is concerned, it's fine."
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"I'm glad Reagan is president. Of course, I'm a professional comedian."
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Personal Development
"If I hadn't been President of the United States, I probably would have ended up a piano player in a bawdy house."
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"A woman will be elected President before Wade Boggs is called out on strikes. I guarantee that."
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Personal Development
"Clinton was a pretty good president for a Republican."
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Personal Development
"Reagan's dead, and he was a lousy President."
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"I don't think there is one president that's come down the line that hasn't done something good somewhere."
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"I'm going to be so much better a president for having been at the CIA that you're not going to believe it."
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Personal Development
"We're going to hear a lot of spirited discussion about the President's plan in the next few days and weeks and that's fine as long as everyone comes ready to talk and not just snipe, complain and argue."
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"Now, therefore, the Directors of the company are hereby ordered to see that precautions are taken to make travel on said railroad perfectly safe by using a screw with at least twenty-four inches diameter."
Travel
"To Mr. Seward: It is my desire that, in case Maximillian will surrender, he be sent here a prisoner of war, but that in the event of his continuing the war, or refusing to surrender, then he be shot."
War
"The Supreme Court of the United States is hereby commanded to try Andrew Johnson for usurpation of our Imperial authority and prerogatives, and if found guilty, behead him or send him here to black the Emperor's boots."
Authority
"We further decree that the Senate of the United States elect a prominent Democrat as their presiding officer, to act as President until the next election, and to reconstruct the Cabinet according to our wishes hereafter to be declared."
Act
"We, Norton I, do hereby decree that the offices of President, Vice President, and Speaker of the House of Representatives are, from and after this date, abolished."
President
"We do hereby command the Leaders of the Hebrew, Catholic and Protestant Churches to sanctify and have us crowned Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico."
Church
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