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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
Author Name
Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"I just can't wait to get out there on stage. There's no anxiety at all. I love being able to take this journey with the audience, because we all have a ball with it - even if we're crying."
Love
"M*A*S*H offered real characters and everybody identified with them because they had such soul. The humor was intelligent and it always assumed that you had an intellect."
Humor
"It's never too late to go out and get that feeling back."
Feelings
"If you care enough, you make a difference."
Care
"I don't eat or wear animals, but I never tell people not to - that's just my view."
People
"I don't think we should be deprived of the privilege of free speech."
Free speech
"I love being creative in all forms."
Love
"Shirley Valentine is a beautiful character and so well written. What Shirley speaks and thinks is so logical."
Character
"When I went to school, I was in the same mode. I did the things I enjoyed, what I loved."
School
"The pursuit of happiness is in our Constitution. We're all entitled to have the best we can."
Happiness
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