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"It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for."
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"Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good."
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Personal Development
"I can make a firm pledge, under my plan, no family making less than $250,000 a year will see any form of tax increase. Not your income tax, not your payroll tax, not your capital gains taxes, not any of your taxes."
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Personal Development
"There shall be no end to the government of God."
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Personal Development
"There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you."
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Personal Development
"The ugliest government is the one which is spreading fear to its own people! The finest government is the one which encourages its own people to criticize the government harshly."
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Personal Development
"The diversity in the faculties of men, from which the rights of property originate, is not less an insuperable obstacle to an uniformity of interests. The protection of these faculties is the first object of government."
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Personal Development
"The instant formal government is abolished, society begins to act. A general association takes place, and common interest produces common security."
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Personal Development
"On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does."
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Personal Development
"All government, indeed every human benefit and enjoyment, every virtue, and every prudent act, is founded on compromise and barter."
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Personal Development
"I think it is just stupid economics for a government to approach economic management from a strand of thinking regarding unions as enemies."
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Personal Development
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"There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail."
Politics
"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."
Funny
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
People
"All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance."
Ignorance
"Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth."
People
"There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you."
Government
"I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this - no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one."
War
"Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth."
Being
"There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in."
Man
"It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts."
Man
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