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"Yeah, well, when they say 'You know it's a long way, don't you?' what they really mean is: 'You know it'd be faster if you just rode a kangaroo, don't you?"
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"With me, travelling is frankly a vice. The temptation to indulge in it is one which I find almost as hard to resist as the temptation to read promiscuously, omnivorously and without purpose. From time to time, it is true, I make a desperate resolution to mend my ways. I sketch out programmes of useful, serious reading; I try to turn my rambling voyages into systematic tours through the history of art and civilization. But without much success. After a little I relapse into my old bad ways. Deplorable weakness! I try to comfort myself with the hope that even my vices may be of some profit to me."
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Personal Development
"Travelers never think that they are the foreigners."
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Personal Development
"Europe's the mayonnaise, but America supplies the good old lobster."
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Personal Development
"Real travel is not about the highlights with which you dazzle your friends once you're home. It's about the loneliness, the solitude, the evenings spent by yourself, pining to be somewhere else. Those are the moments of true value. You feel half proud of them and half ashamed and you hold them to your heart."
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Personal Development
"Perhaps it's my natural pessimism, but it seems that an awfully large part of travel these days is to see things while you still can."
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Personal Development
"We are all pilgrims who seek Italy."
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Personal Development
"The thing about Ayers Rock is that by the time you finally get there you are already a little sick of it."
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Personal Development
"I built my home in the feeling of waking up at dawn in a new city, where every road is the right road because there is no ordinary. Everything is as profound as you make it."
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Personal Development
"I wandered everywhere, through cities and countries wide. And everywhere I went, the world was on my side."
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Personal Development
"As a very young man, I thought of Europe as a place that could not exist except in the imagination, in glorious dreams, and through the careful lies of the silver screen."
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"Don't take this the wrong way, but Australians have a LOT of bitches on their cashola."
Social
"I'm almost afraid to tell you. Let's put it this way: clean toilets are the least of your problems in this country."
Observation
"Turns out rolling your eyes in a bar when 'Land Down Under' plays is like someone belching during the Star Spangled Banner in America."
Sensitivity
"Once the principals in their party are seated, with those lower on the totem pole left to grumble and move on to find another table, our once-cozy booth transforms into a damp fusion of vacuous wretchedness, with the three women all complaining alternately about their wet hair/clothes and their respective distance from Talon, while the man himself is trying to maneuver his Paul Bunyan frame way too close to me."
Party
"And just so you know-that winter forest we walked into first? That was from Through the Looking Glass too. Hey, if you're going to saddle me with the blame for your overconsumption, at least get the book right."
Blame
"How do you tactfully spin the term "man-whore to someone's sister?"
Social
"I try not to laugh too loud, afraid a bark-like noise will be mistaken by any great whites lurking in the area as the distress call of a juvenile seal."
Fear
"Oh, Alice, you haven't even had a taste of my romantic streak yet. And when the time's right I don't think I'll have to 'try' to have my way with you. I just WILL."
Romance
"Hey, any idea why Australians speak something that sounds deceptively like English but isn't? I mean, I'm trying to figure out why I can't seem to converse with another human being who speaks the same language as I do."
Language
"I don't think Australians ever use a couple of words when twenty will do just fine."
Language
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