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"People who wear G-strings suffer from indecision."
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"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development
"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."
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Personal Development
"Laughter is carbonated holiness."
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Personal Development
"Well, I said, "you obviously have some power. You chased off those hooligans with rotten fruit. Perhaps you have banana-kinesis? Or you can control garbage? I once knew a Roman goddess, Cloacina, who presided over the city's sewer system. Perhaps you're related? Meg pouted. I got the impression I might have said something wrong, though I couldn't imagine what."
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Personal Development
"Alas poor Yorick! I knew him Horatio: a fellow of infinite jest of most excellent fancy."
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Personal Development
"The Fool held his breath. On long nights on the hard flagstones he had dreamed of women like her. Although, if he really thought about it, not much like her; they were better endowed around the chest, their noses weren't so red and pointed, and their hair tended to flow more. But the Fool's libido was bright enough to tell the difference between the impossible and the conceivably attainable, and hurriedly cut in some filter circuits."
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Personal Development
"D'yer see it? This finger, laddie, could send ye to meet yer Maker!Sgt. Deisenburger stared at the black and purple nail a few inches from his face. As an offensive weapon it rated quite highly, especially if it was ever used in the preparation of food."
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Personal Development
"Showing off is more ridiculous in instances where the thing that is being shown off was bought on credit."
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Personal Development
"I didn't understand how. But the toilets had responded to me. I had become one with the plumbing..."
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Personal Development
"It is dull, Son of Adam, to drink without eating," said the Queen presently. "What would you like best to eat?""Turkish Delight, please, your Majesty," said Edmund."
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"In a materialistic society, the dead body of a rich man's dog is regarded as a corpse; that of a poor man, a carcass."
Society
"The fact that you have just buried your parent or parents and/or sibling or siblings does not make you less likely to die today."
Mortality
"Worrying about what happened on Monday, or, what might happen on Wednesday, is at the expense of one's Tuesday."
Time
"A satirist that criticizes religion is seen as a satanist."
Religion
"Employers are at their happiest on Mondays. Employees are at their happiest on Fridays."
Work
"Back then, work revolved around life. Today, life revolves around work."
Work
"In some cases, it is the woman's stomach-not her heart-that has left her man for another."
Relationship
"Most priests wish they were as righteous as they seem to most members of their congregations."
Religion
"Tomorrow is like 'there.' Once you get 'there,' it is called 'here.' So, technically, life is a set of Todays."
Philosophy
"A writer's primary goal is to make sense. The bookstore's is to make cents."
Writing
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