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"Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain."
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"Clinton was a pretty good president for a Republican."
"Sure, it is apparent that presidents are looking at polls, but they are also stepping up on issues. President Clinton stepped up on tobacco. He shaped the polls on the tobacco issue."
"Hey, I'm a former union president myself and also an attorney that represented a lot of unions."
"I don't think anybody has that crystal ball but the president."
"If you see the President, tell him from me that whatever happens there will be no turning back."
"President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can't pronounce Schwarzenegger."
"The last president we had was the smartest guy anyone could remember and he did the dumbest thing anyone has ever seen in the White House so go figure."
"We are worried about the size of the deficit, which is why the president is pleased that the House and Senate have followed his lead in cutting the deficit in half over the next five years."
Explore more quotes by Jon Stewart
"I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land."
"The Supreme Court ruled that disabled golfer Casey Martin has a legal right to ride in a golf cart between shots at PGA Tour events. Man, the next thing you know, they're going to have some guy carry his clubs around for him."
"Here's the point - you're looking at affirmative action, and you're looking at marijuana. You legalize marijuana, no need for quotas, because really, who's gonna wanna work?"
"There is no such thing as an impartial jury because there are no impartial people. There are people that argue on the web for hours about who their favorite character on "Friends" is."
"The seven marvels that best represent man's achievements over the last 2,000 years will be determined by Internet vote... so look for Howard Stern's Private Parts to come in No. 1."
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