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Tim Allen

"My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance."

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"My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance."

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Asa Don Brown

"The doctrine that all men are, in any sense, or have been, at any time, free and equal, is an utterly baseless fiction."

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Asa Don Brown

"Be noble minded! Our own heart, and not other men's opinions of us, forms our true honor."

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Asa Don Brown

"Logical consequences are the scarecrows of fools and the beacons of wise men."

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Asa Don Brown

"Wine hath drowned more men than the sea."

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Asa Don Brown

"My attitude toward men who mess around is simple: If you find 'em, kill 'em."

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Asa Don Brown

"I cannot help fearing that men may reach a point where they look on every new theory as a danger, every innovation as a toilsome trouble, every social advance as a first step toward revolution, and that they may absolutely refuse to move at all."

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Asa Don Brown

"When women go wrong, men go right after them."

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Asa Don Brown

"Like all weak men he laid an exaggerated stress on not changing one's mind."

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Asa Don Brown

"It is the dissimilarities and inequalities among men which give rise to the notion of honor; as such differences become less, it grows feeble; and when they disappear, it will vanish too."

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Asa Don Brown

"Strong women only marry weak men."

Explore more quotes by Tim Allen

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Tim Allen
"Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words "large" or "size" with "rear end." Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me."
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Tim Allen
"Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything."
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Tim Allen
"Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded."
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Tim Allen
"Dad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his mate so the kids understand their parents are sexy, they're fun, they do things together, they're best friends. Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they're going to respect Mom."
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Tim Allen
"Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive."
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Tim Allen
"Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon."
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Tim Allen
"While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously."
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Tim Allen
"Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work, or prison."
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Tim Allen
"My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance."
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