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"Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others."
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"The average man, if he meddles with criticism at all, is a conservative critic."
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"I was reared in the conservative atmosphere of a Methodist parsonage."
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"A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now."
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"Bush is no conservative."
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"A conservative is someone who makes no changes and consults his grandmother when in doubt."
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"And I am a conservative. Sometimes conservatives forget we are supposed to conserve, to save, to be efficient. Plus our dependence on other sources of energy is causing our country to not be independent and to really be vulnerable. So this is a security issue."
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"I am a conservative and proud of it."
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"Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others."
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"Bill Clinton was a liberal who could appeal to conservative-leaning Bubba voters."
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"I came to Washington with a pledge to be a fiscally conservative."
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"Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white."
Art
"Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion."
Religion
"Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization."
Civilization
"That sovereign of insufferables."
Judgment
"Christian: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbour."
Religion
"Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding."
Art
"Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money."
Money
"Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility."
Business
"Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage."
Humor
"Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught."
Humor
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