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"A friend is someone who will bike to the ice cream shop with you, even when you don't look so good."
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"Rejoicing in our joy, not suffering over our suffering, makes someone a friend."
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Personal Development
"To have a great man for a friend seems pleasant to those who have never tried it; those who have, fear it."
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Personal Development
"The best things to hold on to are the memories of friendship and love."
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Personal Development
"A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy."
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Personal Development
"A good writer possesses not only his own spirit but also the spirit of his friends."
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Personal Development
"I dislike the phrase 'Internet friends,' because it implies that people you know online aren't really your friends, that somehow the friendship is less real or meaningful to you because it happens through Skype or text messages. The measure of a friendship is not its physicality but its significance."
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Personal Development
"Often people that criticise your life are usually the same people that don't know the price you paid to get where you are today. True friends see the full picture of your soul."
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Personal Development
"They're a little strange, but I'm pretty sure neither of them is going to try to make me uncomfortable by stripping naked."
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Personal Development
"Sometimes you win friends, sometimes you lose friends. Both can help you to grow faster."
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Personal Development
"One of the principal functions of a friend is to suffer (in a milder and symbolic form) the punishments that we should like, but are unable, to inflict upon our enemies."
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Personal Development
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"If I want to catch the damn worm I get outta bed."
Discipline
"There is not a simple gene pool entirely free of toxic waste."
Humanity
"Excuses are like butt holes everyone has 'em and they all stink."
Accountability
"Love is like skydiving without a parachute."
Love
"Today's problems are yesterday's mistakes coming back to bite you in the ass."
Consequences
"You're just so lucky blood's so hard to get out of the carpet."
Absurdity
"You are a perfect woman, a magical blend of beauty, intelligence, and spirit. Without you, my life is nothing."
Admiration
"You guys gotta get a license to drive a Geo, but any doofus with a few good swimmers can be a father."
Parenting
"Opportunity may only knock once, but temptation'll knock down the damn door and drag you out by the hair."
Temptation
"Some people say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. In actuality, you have to make an incision through his skin, both dermis and epidermis, then carefully sever and separate the sternum. Only upon viewing the exposed thoracic cavity can you reach the heart--if indeed the male of the species actually possesses such an organ."
Satire
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