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"When you put on your thinking cap make sure it's clean."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development

"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development

"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development

"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development

"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development

"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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Personal Development

"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."
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Personal Development

"Papa, potatoes, poultry, prunes and prism, are all very good words for the lips."
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Personal Development

"Laughter is carbonated holiness."
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Personal Development

"Well, I said, "you obviously have some power. You chased off those hooligans with rotten fruit. Perhaps you have banana-kinesis? Or you can control garbage? I once knew a Roman goddess, Cloacina, who presided over the city's sewer system. Perhaps you're related? Meg pouted. I got the impression I might have said something wrong, though I couldn't imagine what."
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"To go where no man has gone before, follow the steps of Jesus."
Spiritual

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, not the mirror."
Perception

"While the whole world was asleep, the caterpillar was awake, working towards becoming a butterfly."
Transformation

"If a man treats you like a princess, he deserves to be your king."
Relationship

"The student asked the master, "Teacher, what should I do to become great?" the master replied: Succeed where others have failed."
Wisdom

"Love costs us much, but we still need it. Wisdom costs us much, but we still seek it. Faith costs us much, but we still practice it. Life costs us much, but we still desire it."
Sacrifice

"There is no limit to what your mind can achieve, what your heart can accomplish, and what your soul can realize."
Inspirational

"Marrying a stupid person is a reflection of your thoughtlessness. Marrying a clever person is a reflection of your intelligence. Marrying a wise person is a reflection of your shrewdness. Marrying a virtuous person is a reflection of your uprightness."
Wisdom

"The world is already full of critics; to stand out, be an encourager."
Positivity

"First, fear will mock you, then fear will taunt you, then fear will oppose you, and if you ignore it, only then will it flee from you."
Wisdom
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