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"If you watch the news and don't like it, then this is your counter program to the news."
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"There is good news in the data the strongest support for priests is to be found among the younger generation."
"What is news? It's hard to quantify. Certainly news has changed completely, and the morning shows are not really designed to bring you the news, except to tell you what happened overnight, and the rest of it is a kind of magazine mentality - a little bit of this, a little bit of that. It's harder to be an educated and informed citizen."
"Since I arrived at CNN, it has grown into one of the largest and most trusted news organizations in the world."
"They are words you don't easily forget: I don't have good news."
"One thing that stands out throughout the entire year was that in South Dakota we are much more united than we are divided. Now the divided part creates news, but the united part is what moves us forward."
"A newspaper consists of just the same number of words, whether there be any news in it or not."
"When you're watching the news, how many days in a row can you watch that and feel good about yourself and the world?"
Explore more quotes by Jon Stewart
"There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!"
"The seven marvels that best represent man's achievements over the last 2,000 years will be determined by Internet vote... so look for Howard Stern's Private Parts to come in No. 1."
"I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days."
"We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea."
"You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried everything. Yes, I want to look back and know that I was terrible at a variety of things."
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