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Phyllis Diller

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"

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"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"

Explore more quotes by Phyllis Diller

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Phyllis Diller
"Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children."
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Phyllis Diller
"My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual."
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Phyllis Diller
"A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once."
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Phyllis Diller
"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."
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Phyllis Diller
"My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me."
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Phyllis Diller
"Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves."
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Phyllis Diller
"You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type."
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Phyllis Diller
"If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like."
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Phyllis Diller
"The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing."
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Phyllis Diller
"The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you."

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"I don't think there's any independent cartoonist whose stuff I don't like or respect in at least some way or another. We're all marginal laborers - we're practically medical oddities - so I don't see why we can't all be nice to each other."

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"The sacrifices made by veterans and their willingness to fight in defense of our nation merit our deep respect and praise - and to the best in benefits and medical care."

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"Eating disorders can have serious medical and psychological consequences which, left unchecked, can kill. Parents should address this issue and ask their children to discuss how they feel about themselves."

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"In the Radiation Laboratory we count it a privilege to do everything we can to assist our medical colleagues in the application of these new tools to the problems of human suffering."

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"Radio interoperability is essential for our police, fire, and emergency medical service departments to communicate with each other in times of emergency."

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"A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby's temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who's boss."

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"Charge forward with hope and get the best medical advice you can. Talk to your friends, neighbors, family, and together you attack it. We can't always control what happens to us, but we can always control how we react to it."

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Aberjhani

"And as a nurse, I know very well the importance, for example, of electronic medical records."

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"Ensuring Americans have access to adequate medical care should be a priority for all of us."

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"I wanted to go to medical school. But, I never got a college scholarship."

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