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"I think humor is a very serious thing. I use it as a way of weakening the reader's defenses so that I can more easily take him to something more."
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"I've been on so many blind dates I should get a free dog."

"You can turn your back on a person, but never turn your back on a drug, especially when its waving a razor sharp hunting knife in your eye."

"God, you had enough time to have been through it three times. You've been through my stuff. I bet you over and let one of you stick the world's longest finger up my ass. If a prostate check is an exam, that was a motherfucking safari. I was scared to look down. I thought I'd see that guy's finger nail sticking out of my cock."

"There's folks 'ud stand on their heads and then say the fault was i' their boots."
Explore more quotes by William Collins

"When a writer becomes a reader of his or her own work, a lot can go wrong. It's like do-it-yourself dentistry."

"I think humor is a very serious thing. I use it as a way of weakening the reader's defenses so that I can more easily take him to something more."

"Prior to Wordsworth, humor was an essential part of poetry. I mean, they don't call them Shakespeare comedies for nothing."

"Words like feminism or democracy scare me. They are words with barnacles on them, and you can't see what's underneath."
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