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"You rented the apartment with a dead guy in the corner? I shrugged. "I wanted the apartment, and I figured I could cover him up with a bookcase or something."
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"Rogerson," I asked him sweetly as we sat watching a video in the pool house, "where would I find the pelagic zone?""In the open sea," he said. "Now shut up and eat your Junior Mints."
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Personal Development
"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."
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Personal Development
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
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Personal Development
"A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those worth committing."
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Personal Development
"Christ and The Church: If he were to apply for a divorce on the grounds of cruelty, adultery and desertion, he would probably get one."
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Personal Development
"England has forty-two religions and only two sauces."
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Personal Development
"God is a comedian playing to an audience that is too afraid to laugh."
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Personal Development
"And then Mum spoons the coffee a little as if she's having fantasies of flinging it in Britt-Marie's face. But in a controlled way."
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Personal Development
"Stupidity is brief and guileless, while wit equivocates and hides. Wit is a scoundrel, while stupidity is honest and sincere."
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Personal Development
"I say let the world go to hell, but I should always have my tea."
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Personal Development
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"I am apparently the complete opposite of a sociopath. (Seriously. I took a test.) WHEW!"
Psychology
"I know what kind of man it takes to get involved with something as barbarous as human trafficking."I get it, Swopes. He's not the kind of man you take home to meet yourstepmom. I rethought that. "Wait a minute. Maybe my stepmom would like to meet him. Do you think he ships to Istanbul?"
Ethics
"He was leaving my stepmother for a sailboat. Not that I blamed him. A sailboat would at least be useful."
Life
"Want coffee?" I asked, as I headed that way."It's three thirty in the morning.""Okay. Want coffee?"
Lifestyle
"The regular I both feared and salivated to see was names Reyes Farrow. Where others exuded aggression, deception, and insecurity, he literally dripped confidence, sex, and power. Mostly sex."
Personality
"He had threatened my parents. I had to remember that. Still, it was really hard to stay mad at a wounded naked man."
Psychology
"In a moment of sheer terror, I realized I couldn't feel my brain. It was there just a minute ago. Maybe I really was dead. "Do I look dead to you?"
Philosophical
"My powers of persuasion are only as strong as the bullshit I have to back it up.- Charley Davidson."
Ethics
"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. -STEVEN WRIGHT."
Philosophy
"God I loved Sammy. I'd considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand."
Life
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