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"I feel much freer now that I am certain the pope is the Antichrist."
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"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."
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Personal Development
"A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water."
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Personal Development
"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"
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Personal Development
"Some people make spectacles of themselves with a couple of glasses."
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Personal Development
"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."
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Personal Development
"It's not that I really cheat at golf. I play for my health and a low score makes me feel better."
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Personal Development
"The moment you have a self at all, there is a possibility of putting yourself first - wanting to be the centre - wanting to be God, in fact. That was the sin of Satan: and that was the sin he taught the human race. Some people think the fall of man had something to do with sex, but that is a mistake...what Satan put into the heads of our remote ancestors was the idea that they 'could be like Gods' - could set up on their own as if they had created themselves - be their own masters - invent some sort of happiness for themselves outside God, apart from God. And out of that hopeless attempt has come...the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy."
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Personal Development
"I used to think that size does not count, until I realized that most people either find other people's faeces more disgusting than a bird's droppings, or they do not find the latter disgusting at all."
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Personal Development
"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."
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Personal Development
"Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet."
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Personal Development
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"Our Lord has written the promise of resurrection, not in books alone, but in every leaf in springtime."
Faith
"If you young fellows were wise, the devil couldn't do anything to you, but since you aren't wise, you need us who are old."
Wisdom
"I feel much freer now that I am certain the pope is the Antichrist."
Humor
"If he have faith, the believer cannot be restrained. He betrays himself. He breaks out. He confesses and teaches this gospel to the people at the risk of life itself."
Faith
"Preach [and live] as if Jesus was crucified yesterday, rose from the dead today, and is returning tomorrow."
Faith
"When schools flourish, all flourishes."
Education
"For in the true nature of things, if we rightly consider, every green tree is far more glorious than if it were made of gold and silver."
Nature
"The less I pray the harder it gets the more I pray the better it goes."
Spiritual
"What would it profit us to possess and perform everything else and be like pure saints, if we meanwhile neglected our chief purpose in life, namely, the care of the young?"
Parenting
"To gather with God's people in united adoration of the Father is as necessary to the Christian life as prayer."
Spiritual
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