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Aspen Matis

"I had no evidence. No physical signs of my rape existed anymore. My body had already purged them. That was the irreversible reality."

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"I had no evidence. No physical signs of my rape existed anymore. My body had already purged them. That was the irreversible reality."

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"Because the past was always around her and might return at any time. It prowled the world searching for her, and she knew it was growing angrier at every passing day."

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"Have you ever experienced a shattering in your own personal life? Where death, divorce, financial loss, failure, or disaster changed your world to such an extent that you weren't sure how to rebuild again? Clearing the debris from the aftermath is a great first step. It enables you to start with a clean slate so you can rebuild exactly what you desire. Where can you begin?"

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"But my father, a thief in many ways, had robbed me of my concentration."

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"Her body was a prison, her mind was a prison. Her memories were a prison. The people she loved. She couldn't get away from the hurt of them. She could leave Eric, walk out of her apartment, walk forever if she liked, but she couldn't escape what really hurt. Tonight even the sky felt like a prison."

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"The first several years of my life were used to upload incredible amounts of fear, and I just became afraid of everything. I was afraid of my parents, afraid of my classmates, afraid of the streets of Washington, D.C. I would flinch at every gesture."

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"The moment her hymen was plucked from her body in the wilderness, Her soul was taken from sanity."

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"If the most connected we've ever felt with another person was in that brief moment of apology and regret after physical abuse, then we'll seek that abuse for the rest of our lives."

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"My traumatic experience was life changing."

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"There are things that can be forgotten. And things that cannot - that sit on dusty shelves like stuffed birds with baleful, sideways staring eyes."

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Asa Don Brown

"Ultimate horror often paralyses memory in a merciful way."

Explore more quotes by Aspen Matis

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Aspen Matis
"I wanted both things: strength in my independence and also this new desire. This felt like the beginning of a new kind of love."
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Aspen Matis
"Because I feared I couldn't walk to Newton Centre without her, I needed to hike through desert, snow and woods alone.Childhood is a wilderness."
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Aspen Matis
"Childhood is a wilderness."
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Aspen Matis
"I wanted him to declare in shock how overlooked and underestimated I had been ever since I was a child. How lucky he felt to be the one to have discovered me, to have me. I wanted him to look at me like maybe I was magic."
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Aspen Matis
"But the truth was stranger than an aimless road, it always was."
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Aspen Matis
"Absolutely devout in her complete care of my body, she had only taught me to be weak and voiceless. But I had unlearned that lesson. Our enmeshment no longer felt to me like proof of love. I was no longer willing to permit this silencing. Helplessness didn't have to be my identity, I wasn't condemned to it. I was willing-able-to change. Our enmeshment had been enabled by my belief that I needed her to help me, to take care of things for me-and to save me-but, back in the home where I'd learned this helplessness, I found I no longer felt that I was trapped in it."
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Aspen Matis
"I wrote through darkness, vividly seeing: my passivity was not a crime; my desire to trust was not a flaw."
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Aspen Matis
"I saw for the first time that I could stop giving people the power to make me feel disrespected. In my anger I began to see the absurdity of allowing this boy to shame me."
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Aspen Matis
"She told me that my rape was not my fault, that I should feel no shame, that " simple as it may sound " I hadn't caused it. No one causes rape but rapists. No one causes rape but rapists. No one causes rape but rapists. It was true. And it had not been obvious to me. And hearing it from someone else, a professional, someone who should know, helped me believe that soon I would believe it."
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Aspen Matis
"When I felt strongly I would say it strongly."
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