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"In a prime-time address, President Bush said he backed limited federal funding for stem cell research. That's right, the President said, this is a quote, the research could help cure brain diseases like Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, and whatever it is I have."
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"The cure for admiring the House of Lords is to go and look at it."
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Personal Development
"A severe though not unfriendly critic of our institutions said that the cure for admiring the House of Lords was to go and look at it."
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Personal Development
"If it were possible to cure evils by lamentation and to raise the dead with tears, then gold would be a less valuable thing than weeping."
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Personal Development
"Precaution is better than cure."
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Personal Development
"Just because there is a problem doesn't mean that we have to solve it, if the cure is going to be more expensive than the original ailment."
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Personal Development
"Grease is the only cure for a hangover."
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Personal Development
"It took me about 10 years to get rid of. I'm all right now, though, lovely, I'm throwing some nice darts at the moment, but every now and then I get a bit of a jump. I wish I could find a cure, I'd make a bloody fortune."
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Personal Development
"A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree."
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Personal Development
"Someday they may cure MS, that idiot thing. It gets in there and they can't get it out."
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Personal Development
"Though all afflictions are evils in themselves, yet they are good for us, because they discover to us our disease and tend to our cure."
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"Tom Cruise's attorney said he is going to sue anyone who claims he is gay. In a related story, Ricky Martin's attorney has been hospitalized for exhaustion."
Exhaustion
"The Canadian government continues to say they will not help us if we go to war with Iraq. However, the prime minister of Canada said he'd like to help, but he's pretty sure that last time he checked, Canada had no army."
Government
"The U.S. army confirmed that it gave a lucrative fire fighting contract in Iraq to the firm once run by the Vice President Dick Cheney without any competitive bidding. When asked if this could be conceived as Cheney's friends profiting from the war, the spokesman said 'Yes.'"
War
"Several hard-core Star Wars fans who had tickets for the first showing actually said that when the movie finally began, they started crying. Mainly because they realized that it's 22 years later, and they still haven't lost their virginity."
Fans
"CBS news anchor Dan Rather has interviewed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein. When asked what it was like to talk to a crazy man, Saddam said, 'It's not so bad.'"
Man
"Yesterday, the Pentagon warned U.S. reporters that they should get out of Baghdad as soon as possible because the U.S. could attack at any time. Then the Pentagon added, 'Whatever you do, don't tell Geraldo.'"
Time
"In Cleveland there is legislation moving forward to ban people from wearing pants that fit too low. However, there is lots of opposition from the plumber' union."
People
"Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get, but if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."
Life
"John Travolta said he sometimes lets his friends take control of his airplane even though they don't know what they're doing. Then Travolta said he often does the same thing with his career."
Control
"Officials at the White House are saying that President Bush hasn't changed his schedule much since the war started. The main difference, they say, is that he's started watching the news and taping Sponge Bob."
War
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