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Exlpore more Comedy quotes
"She's got feet like boats, whiskers like an American, and her undies are filthy."
"Are you out of your goddamn mind? You think we can take on two hundred soldiers? I know I am an extremely attractive man, J, but I am not Bruce Lee."Who's Bruce Lee?"Who's Bruce Lee? Kenji asks, horrified. "Oh my God. We can't even be friends anymore."Why? Was he a friend of yours?"You know what, he says, "just stop. Just-I can't even talk to you right now."
"I glanced at Derek. The boy wonder didn't melt into a pile of goo, although his gaze was glued to Rowena's chest. Avoiding eye contact. Good strategy."
"Comedy to me has always seemed a social tightrope for the comedian. For all axioms intellectually sound the general public would prefer to be amused, but in those emotionally sound, it then chooses to get offended."
"98% of all comedians feel obliged to be funny when interviewed. Less than 2% succeed."
"You need to understand that some comedy can have consequences."
"When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving."
Explore more quotes by Steve Guttenberg
"Let's look at people as artists and try to support them; just because Picasso painted a couple of bad paintings, that's no reason to say he's a lousy painter."
"For 15 years I did two to three movies a year, sometimes four. I didn't get to spend time building my personal life."
"When you're starting out as an actor, there isn't much food around. I was lucky to have a hit pretty early on. I didn't starve too long."
"It's good Xerox is known for its copying machines, and it's good Jim Carrey is known for comedy."
"Someone's just told me the English are still trying to take over the United States - is that true?"
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