"I sit in places like Costa Coffee in Banstead and write rubbish. I need a deadline. I think about the 44 tour dates and keep imagining standing in front of all these people. Then every day I write 15 jokes minimum."

People, Coffee, Day, Jokes

8

Create Your Own Wallpaper

Standard

Customized

"I sit in places like Costa Coffee in Banstead and write rubbish. I need a deadline. I think about the 44 tour dates and keep imagining standing in front of all these people. Then every day I write 15 jokes minimum."

Exlpore more People quotes

"Often people display a curious respect for a man drunk, rather like the respect of simple races for the insane... There is something awe-inspiring in one who has lost all inhibitions."

F. Scott Fitzgerald, American Author

People, Man, Respect

"The last resort of kings, the cannonball. The last resort of the people, the paving stone."

Victor Hugo, French Author

People, Kings

"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."

Samuel Johnson, English Author

People, Superiority

"There are bad people who would be less dangerous if they were quite devoid of goodness."

Francois de La Rochefoucauld, French Writer

People, Goodness

"There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating - people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

People, Nothing

"We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones."

Francois de La Rochefoucauld, French Writer

People, Faults

"Some people break promises for the pleasure of breaking them."

William Hazlitt, English Critic

People, Pleasure, Promises

"I do give books as gifts sometimes, when people would rather have one than a new Ferrari."

Dean Koontz, American Author

People, Books, Gifts

"If something in your writing gives support to people in their lives, that's more than just entertainment-which is what we writers all struggle to do, to touch people."

Dean Koontz, American Author

People, Entertainment, Struggle, Support

"Perhaps being old is having lighted rooms inside your head, and people in them, acting. People you know, yet can't quite name."

Francois de La Rochefoucauld, French Writer

People, Acting, Being, Name

Explore more quotes by Tim Vine

"I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again."

Holiday,

"So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.'"

Home, Voice

"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'""

Car, World

"Black beauty - he's a dark horse."

Beauty,

"Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother, Colin. Or my younger brother, Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin."

Father, Dad, Family, Brother, People

"Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and a couple of seconds."

Now,

"I sit in places like Costa Coffee in Banstead and write rubbish. I need a deadline. I think about the 44 tour dates and keep imagining standing in front of all these people. Then every day I write 15 jokes minimum."

People, Coffee, Day, Jokes

"My house is a bit like a teenager's bedroom. The kind of pictures you have hanging up on your wall say a lot about you. I've got ones of Evel Knievel, Elvis and Starsky and Hutch, signed by David Soul."

Soul,

"You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox."

Fact, Hunting, Night

"I love acting, but it's all just a bonus."

Love, Acting