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"When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911."
Standard
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"I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: "Checkout Time is 18 years.""
Time
"There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it."
Family
"Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other."
Success
"Children make your life important."
Life
"A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest."
Friendship
"A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat."
Friendship
"In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet."
Humor
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."
Car
"Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated."
School
"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'."
God
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"Nothing that you have not given away will ever be really yours."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Why should I go into details, we have nothing that is not perishable except what our hearts and our intellects endows us with."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Nothing is so good as it seems beforehand."
Author Name
Personal Development
"There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so."
Author Name
Personal Development
"As it is the characteristic of great wits to say much in few words, so small wits seem to have the gift of speaking much and saying nothing."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Since philosophy now criticizes everything it comes across, a critique of philosophy would be nothing less than a just reprisal."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Nothing proves that we are more than nothing."
Author Name
Personal Development
"There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose."
Author Name
Personal Development
"There is nothing so terrible as activity without insight."
Author Name
Personal Development
"If there was nothing wrong in the world there wouldn't be anything for us to do."
Author Name
Personal Development
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