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"When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911."
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"A witty saying proves nothing."
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Personal Development
"The best way to be boring is to leave nothing out."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Nothing is so good as it seems beforehand."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Nothing is so unbelievable that oratory cannot make it acceptable."
Author Name
Personal Development
"There is nothing more unaesthetic than a policeman."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on."
Author Name
Personal Development
"There is nothing so absurd that some philosopher has not already said it."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Nothing endures but personal qualities."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Bad things are not the worst things that can happen to us. Nothing is the worst thing that can happen to us!"
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Personal Development
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"When humor goes, there goes civilization."
Humor
"Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time."
Car
"Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go."
Woman
"Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown."
Woman
"Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving."
Emotional
"Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you."
Home
"On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings."
Vacation
"I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes."
Society
"Written on her tombstone: 'I told you I was sick."
Humor
"Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy."
Mind
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