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"Many people think it's in bad taste to advertise for an insane asylum... but come on down. We're going crazy."
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"It's not a slam at you when people are rude, it's a slam at the people they've met before."
"We should not judge people by their peak of excellence; but by the distance they have traveled from the point where they started."
"When people are taken out of their depths they lose their heads, no matter how charming a bluff they may put up."
"I believe that in every country the people themselves are more peaceably and liberally inclined than their governments."
"Few people at the beginning of the nineteenth century needed an adman to tell them what they wanted."
Explore more quotes by Colin Mochrie
"There's many times this year I've sat back and thought, I'm making a living from making things up. It's the only skill I have so I've been really lucky."
"Onstage I do all the stuff I'd never do in real life, like lashing out at people who make me mad or freaking out in a long bank lineup. Performing allows me to fulfill all the sicko fantasies I've ever had."
"The Beatles, Rolling Stones, Barbra Streisand, Bruce Springsteen, these are just some of the people who threatened to sue if we used their songs."
"Our top story tonight: Famous TV dolphin flipper was arrested today on prostitution ring charges. He allegedly was seen transporting two 16 year olds across state line for immoral porpoises."
"There are so many things I'd like to change in the industry. Everything from the reliance of style over substance to their reluctance to hire me for big budget blockbusters, but the thing I would love most would be if they understood people don't have to be Hollywood beautiful to be sexy or interesting."
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