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"The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the Republican Party the way it's been carrying on, then the rest of us ought to get it without even asking."
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"Once the principals in their party are seated, with those lower on the totem pole left to grumble and move on to find another table, our once-cozy booth transforms into a damp fusion of vacuous wretchedness, with the three women all complaining alternately about their wet hair/clothes and their respective distance from Talon, while the man himself is trying to maneuver his Paul Bunyan frame way too close to me."
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Personal Development
"I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the Republican Party the way it's been carrying on, then the rest of us ought to get it without even asking."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I am not the Catholic candidate for President. I am the Democratic Party's candidate for President, who happens also to be a Catholic."
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Personal Development
"A lot of Republicans are white Christians, but the Republican Party is reaching out to Hispanics, and reaching out to blacks, and reaching out to Asians."
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Personal Development
"Had he learned to draw, M. Renoir would have made a very pleasing canvas out of his 'Boating Party'."
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Personal Development
"The Democratic Party is getting very angry, and that came through clearly in this election."
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Personal Development
"So I had a couple of years of playing trumpet. I really enjoyed it, but it was not the kind of instrument you could whip out at a party. Let's face it."
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Personal Development
"The Democratic Party has pretty much abandoned all the things that they cherish."
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Personal Development
"I joined the Communist Party late in 1934. I got out a year and a half later."
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"There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you."
Government
"There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in."
Man
"If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress."
Funny
"America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few."
America
"A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people."
People
"We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others."
Civilization
"The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living."
Education
"I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies."
Enemy
"Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators."
Constitution
"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else."
Humor
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