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"A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking."
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"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."
"He makes people pleased with him by making them first pleased with themselves."
"People are always good company when they are doing what they really enjoy."
"Prune - prune businesses, products, activities, people. Do it annually."
"Some people bear three kinds of trouble - the ones they've had, the ones they have, and the ones they expect to have."
Explore more quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
"Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end."
"The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun."
"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper."
"I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything."
"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.""
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