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"A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book."

"I may not look like much, but I'm an expert at pretending to be a ninja."

"It's fun to see a lot of the crowd become embarrassed. You're kind of watching them almost wanting to not watch the screen, but they have to because it's so compelling!"
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"Nine out of 10 times these guys will hit it-they'll be on something incredibly funny, but one out of 10, two out of 10, they'll fall flat on their faces. That's what makes them great actors: they take those chances, they don't play it safe."

"John Updike is always fun. And one of my former students, Tom Pynchon. And Harold Bloom, another former student."

"When I got involved with The Five Crowns who later became The Drifters, and we got this hit record, I still was looking at this as kind of a fun thing."
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Explore more quotes by Jonathan Carroll

"You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip."

"In Poland, my audience is all women between 18 and 30. At U.S. conventions, you have the fantasy and science fiction crowd. At Harvard you have an entirely different audience. It's so schizophrenic."

"People who truly love us can be divided into two categories: those who understand us, and those who forgive us our worst sins. Rarely do you find someone capable of both."

"I read less of everything now. With only fond memories of others' work, it will be interesting to give my own journal writing a try now."

"The Wilmington, Delaware, television station that bills itself as The Family Minded Station is Channel 69."

"Women are always complaining about men's fascination with breasts. But what if men were absolutely indifferent to breasts? What would women do then with these things that serve one function once or twice in a lifetime, and the rest of the time are just in the way?"

"At a Boston signing, someone from the audience asked why I was so obsessed with furniture in my books. The question rattled around in my head. I had no idea that I was obsessed with furniture."

"Coffee on an airplane always smells bad. Whenever it is served, suddenly the whole cabin stinks of it."
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