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"Animals outline their territories with their excretions, humans outline their territories by ink excretions on paper."
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"My parents were very permissive when it came to animals. As long as we earned the money to buy them and built whatever structure it was they were going to live in, we could have any kind of pet we wanted. They would have let us have a rhinoceros if we could have afforded it."

"Reason number 106 why dogs are smarter than humans: once you leave the litter, you sever contact with your mothers."

"Brute animals have the vowel sounds; man only can utter consonants."
Explore more quotes by Robert Anton Wilson


"Most people live in a myth and grow violently angry if anyone dares to tell them the truth about themselves."


"Every war results from the struggle for markets and spheres of influence, and every war is sold to the public by professional liars and totally sincere religious maniacs, as a Holy Crusade to save God and Goodness from Satan and Evil."


"The function of Theology? The recitation of the incomprehensible by the unspeakable to pick the pockets of the unthinking."


"It only takes 20 years for a liberal to become a conservative without changing a single idea."


"When the rose and the cross are united the alchemical marriage is complete and the drama ends. Then we wake from history and enter eternity."


"You know, I have found a new way to get high and stay spaced out for hours on end, and the government can't stop me... It's called senility."
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