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Ambrose Bierce

"Piracy n: commerce without its folly-swaddles - just as God made it."

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"Piracy n: commerce without its folly-swaddles - just as God made it."

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Amber Hurdle

"NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi."

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Amber Hurdle

"Hurry, your imaginary heaven is calling you up, my dear holier-than-thou religious nuts."

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Amber Hurdle

"And his computer's spell-check always forces him to capitalize the word "Internet". Come on; World War Two earned it's capitalization. The Internet just sucks human beings away from reality."

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Amber Hurdle

"Happiness is a good business these days, more you talk crap about happiness the large number of crowd you will gather."

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Amber Hurdle

"Blessed are the meek, for to them we shall say 'attaboy'."

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Amber Hurdle

"It is difficult not to write satire."

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Amber Hurdle

"Logically enough, the office and the nunnery have been singularly popular in the imaginations of pornographers. We should not be surprised to learn that the erotic novels of the early modern period were overwhelmingly focused on debauchery and flagellation amongst clergy in vespers and chapels, just as contemporary Internet pornography is inordinately concerned with fellatios and sodomies performed by office workers against a backdrop of work stations and computer equipment."

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Amber Hurdle

"Cervantes smiled Spain's chivalry away; A single laugh demolished the right arm Of his country."

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Amber Hurdle

"Pray don't talk to me about the weather, Mr. Worthing. Whenever people talk to me about the weather, I always feel quite certain that they mean something else. And that makes me quite nervous."

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Amber Hurdle

"Punctuality is the thief of time."

Explore more quotes by Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
"Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable."
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Ambrose Bierce
"Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country."
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Ambrose Bierce
"Revolution, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment."
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Ambrose Bierce
"Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for."
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Ambrose Bierce
"To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one's voice."
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Ambrose Bierce
"Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure."
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Ambrose Bierce
"Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced."
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Ambrose Bierce
"Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay."
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Ambrose Bierce
"Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic."
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Ambrose Bierce
"Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage."
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