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"Piracy n: commerce without its folly-swaddles - just as God made it."
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"NIHILIST, n. A Russian who denies the existence of anything but Tolstoi. The leader of the school is Tolstoi."
"Hurry, your imaginary heaven is calling you up, my dear holier-than-thou religious nuts."
"And his computer's spell-check always forces him to capitalize the word "Internet". Come on; World War Two earned it's capitalization. The Internet just sucks human beings away from reality."
"Logically enough, the office and the nunnery have been singularly popular in the imaginations of pornographers. We should not be surprised to learn that the erotic novels of the early modern period were overwhelmingly focused on debauchery and flagellation amongst clergy in vespers and chapels, just as contemporary Internet pornography is inordinately concerned with fellatios and sodomies performed by office workers against a backdrop of work stations and computer equipment."
Explore more quotes by Ambrose Bierce
"Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable."
"Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country."
"Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for."
"Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure."
"Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced."
"Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic."
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