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"My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them."
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"We made a demand for the the same wage rates to be paid in the Canadian plants as in the U.S. plants."
"I know my corn plants intimately, and I find it a great pleasure to know them."
"My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them."
Explore more quotes by Mitch Hedberg
"Do you think I am standing here, making this up as I go? I am sorry to disillusion you. I am not Robin Williams. I am the king of the pen."
"I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming."
"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall."
"I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality."
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