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"My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them."
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"We made a demand for the the same wage rates to be paid in the Canadian plants as in the U.S. plants."
"I know my corn plants intimately, and I find it a great pleasure to know them."
"My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them."
Explore more quotes by Mitch Hedberg
"People teach their dogs to sit; it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky."
"Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show."
"An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."
"I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle."
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