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Charlaine Harris

"My bullshit metre is reading that as false'."

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"My bullshit metre is reading that as false'."

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Amber Hurdle

"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"

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Amber Hurdle

"The real satire starts when I'm shockingly mocked,not mockingly shocked."

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Amber Hurdle

"He has got no good red blood in his body," said Sir James."No. Somebody put a drop under a magnifying glass, and it was all semicolons and parentheses," said Mrs. Cadwallader."

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Amber Hurdle

"CHARTERIS [unfolding his arms in terror] No, please. Dont. As a philosopher, it's my business to tell other people the truth; but it's not their business to tell it to me. I dont like it: it hurts."

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Amber Hurdle

"How was I supposed to know 'lucked out' means 'I got screwed over' in Australian?"

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Amber Hurdle

"I believe the phrase you're looking for is 'too much money and not enough things to spend it on."

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Amber Hurdle

"Where did you find that one?''I have no idea. I'm a magnet for crazies, I guess.''They must be able to sense a kindred spirit.''Your one to talk. Don't you have more hordes of the undead to lead in a glorious revolution?''Zombies not undead. There's a fine distinction. And no. Right now I'm scouting new talent. The glorious revolution comes tomorrow."

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Amber Hurdle

"I realized women and humor were linked very closely."

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Amber Hurdle

"A good joke doesn't necessarily need appreciation from others. One can freely laugh at one's own deserving jokes."

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Amber Hurdle

"He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice."

Explore more quotes by Charlaine Harris

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Charlaine Harris
"Fiction just makes it all more interesting. Truth is so boring."
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Charlaine Harris
"As exits go, that's a good one.' It was pretty hard to have the last word with a vampire."
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Charlaine Harris
"We could go back to your house. I can stay with you always. We can know each others bodies in every way, night after night. I could love you. I could work, you would not be poor. I would help you."
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Charlaine Harris
"I didn't know what to think about first: me seeing Claude naked, Claude seeing me naked, or the whole fact that we were related and naked in the same room.(Sookie Stackhouse, Dead in the Family)"
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Charlaine Harris
"As I climbed up into the high old bed, the large fly in my personal ointment did the same. Had I actually told him he could get in bed with me? Well, I decided, as I wriggled down under the soft old sheets and the blanket and the comforter, if Eric had designs on me, I was just too tired to care.'Woman?'Hmmm?'What's your name?'Sookie. Sookie Stackhouse.'Thank you, Sookie.'Welcome, Eric."
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Charlaine Harris
"Apparently, once you got used to regular and spectacular sex, your body had a mind of its own (so to speak) when it was deprived of that recreation; to say nothing of missing the hugging and cuddling part."
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Charlaine Harris
"Eric moved the broom experimentally and made an attempt to sweep the glass into the pan while it lay in the middle of the floor. Of course, the pan slid away. Eric scowled.I'd finally found something Eric did poorly."
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Charlaine Harris
"Are you a prude?' He seemed genuinely curious.'No!' But after a second, I said, 'But may be compared to you, yes! I like my privacy. I get to decide who sees me naked. Do you get my point?'Yes. Objectively speaking, you have beautiful points.'I thought the top of my head would pop off...(Sookie Stackhouse & Claude, Dead in the Family)"
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Charlaine Harris
"Niall had been able to mask the odor of fairy from Eric in the restaurant, but I saw from the flare of Eric's nostrils that the intoxicating scent clung to me. Eric's eyes closed in ecstasy, and he actually licked his lips. I felt like a T - bone just out of reach of a hungry dog. 'Snap out of it, ' I said. I wasn't in the mood.With a huge effort, Eric reigned himself in. 'When you smell like that, ' he said, 'I just wanna fuck you and bite you and rub myself all over you."
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Charlaine Harris
"Because he sounded so lost - the Eric I knew had never been one to do anything other than assume others should serve him - I patted around under the covers for his hand. When I found it, I slid my own over it. His palm was turned up to meet my palm, and his fingers clasped mine. And though I would not have thought it possible to go to sleep holding hands with a vampire, that's exactly what I did."
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