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"Nevada's one of the most conservative states in the Union, but you can do what you want in Vegas and nobody judges you."
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"But I came from a conservative Republican background."

"Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others."

"The healthy stomach is nothing if it is not conservative. Few radicals have good digestions."

"A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now."

"I'm a very straight-laced, conservative news kind of guy."

"It's my view that any conservative who loves his country has to be extremely concerned."

"A liberal is a person who believes that water can be made to run uphill. A conservative is someone who believes everybody should pay for his water. I'm somewhere in between: I believe water should be free, but that water flows downhill."

"The average man, if he meddles with criticism at all, is a conservative critic."

"A conservative is one who admires radicals centuries after they're dead."
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"As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with your life, it should never have to do with the government. You should never depend on the government for your retirement, your financial security, for anything."

"Even when people are rich and successful on TV shows, there's always some trouble - you have to poke holes in them, throw them out of a job, put a pie in the face."

"When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show."

"Vegas is everything that's right with America. You can do whatever you want, 24 hours a day. They've effectively legalized everything there."

"Hollywood people are filled with guilt: white guilt, liberal guilt, money guilt. They feel bad that they're so rich, they feel they don't work that much for all that money - and they don't, for the amount of money they make."
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