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"You are not angry with people when you laugh at them. Humor teaches tolerance."
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"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."

"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."

"I say let the world go to hell, but I should always have my tea."
Explore more quotes by W. Somerset Maugham


"Act so that every action of yours should be capable of becoming an universal rule of action for all men."


"I do not believe that I am a vindictive man, but when the immortal gods take a hand in the matter it is pardonable to observe the results with complacency."


"Was it necessary to tell me that you wanted nothing in the world but me?'The corners of his mouth drooped peevishly.Oh, my dear, it's rather hard to take quite literally the things a man says when he's in love with you.'Didn't you mean them?'At the moment."


"It was like making a blunder at a party; there was nothing to do about it, it was dreadfully mortifying, but it showed a lack of sense to ascribe too much importance to it."


"My own belief is that there is hardly anyone whose sexual life, if it were broadcast, would not fill the world at large with surprise and horror."


"It looked as though you did not act in a certain way because you thought in a certain way, but rather you thought in a certain way because you were made in a certain way. Truth had nothing to do with it."
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