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"My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint."
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"My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint."
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Personal Development
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"Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you."
Home
"On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings."
Vacation
"I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes."
Society
"Written on her tombstone: 'I told you I was sick."
Humor
"The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one."
Chaos
"I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many facts, and then it will go on overload and blow up."
Computer
"My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint."
Chores
"There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say 'Yes I've got dreams of course I've got dreams.' Then they put the box away and bring it out once in a while to look in it and yep they're still there. These are great dreams but they never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line to hold them up and say 'How good or how bad am I?' That's where courage comes in."
Transformation
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."
Car
"How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?"
Will
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