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"My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint."
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"My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint."
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Personal Development
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"When humor goes, there goes civilization."
Humor
"Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely."
Dream
"Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other."
Success
"How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?"
Will
"A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest."
Friendship
"Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it."
People
"Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery."
Car
"Never have more children than you have car windows."
Car
"For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward."
Time
"When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911."
Nothing
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