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Erma Bombeck

"My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint."

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"My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint."

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Amber Hurdle

"My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint."

Explore more quotes by Erma Bombeck

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Erma Bombeck
"Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other."
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Erma Bombeck
"There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it."
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Erma Bombeck
"For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward."
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Erma Bombeck
"My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?"
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Erma Bombeck
"Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go."
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Erma Bombeck
"Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you."
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Erma Bombeck
"Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth."
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Erma Bombeck
"Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time."
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Erma Bombeck
"I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order."
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Erma Bombeck
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."
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