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Phyllis Diller

"I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away."

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"I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away."

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Amber Hurdle

"What most people in our culture mean by being lovable is essentially a mixture between being popular and having sex appeal."

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Amber Hurdle

"If you insist upon fighting to protect me, or 'our' country, let it be understood soberly and rationally between us that you are fighting to gratify a sex instinct which I cannot share; to procure benefits where I have not shared and probably will not share."

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Amber Hurdle

"Okay we both know... what happens... with sex... different places... different time... different date... different rooms... the biatch is still bitchy.... very bitchy as pitchy.... The agony - DOOOOOO YOU FEEL IT?- wE JUST PREDICTED THE FUTURE!"

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Amber Hurdle

"Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't!"

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Amber Hurdle

"The most unfair thing about sex is that men are almost always guaranteed an orgasm."

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Amber Hurdle

"If I had my way, I would have sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll at least 4-6 hours a day. So long as there are going to be things in the way of that, we're going to have a revolution."

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Amber Hurdle

"No, we didn't shoot... in the ones that I did there were hardly any sex... there were suggestions of sex scenes but we never actually shot a sex scene as such."

Sex,
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Amber Hurdle

"Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex."

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Amber Hurdle

"I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me."

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Amber Hurdle

"I find that the three major administrative problems on a campus are sex for the students, athletics for the alumni and parking for the faculty."

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Phyllis Diller
"What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day."
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"Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves."
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Phyllis Diller
"The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public."
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Phyllis Diller
"I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?"
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Phyllis Diller
"If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like."
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Phyllis Diller
"The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing."
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Phyllis Diller
"Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed."
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Phyllis Diller
"Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?"
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Phyllis Diller
"My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor."
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Phyllis Diller
"Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children."
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