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"I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away."
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"Pornography is the attempt to insult sex, to do dirt on it."

"If you insist upon fighting to protect me, or 'our' country, let it be understood soberly and rationally between us that you are fighting to gratify a sex instinct which I cannot share; to procure benefits where I have not shared and probably will not share."

"When coming to sex: First served, first come."

"The most unfair thing about sex is that men are almost always guaranteed an orgasm."

"Sex is great until you die, but it's never as great as it was when you were a kid, when it was a mystery."
Explore more quotes by Phyllis Diller

"Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going."

"We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up."

"The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you."

"My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual."
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