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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Don't ask for a girl's hand in marriage and forget to ask for her leg too."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Papa, potatoes, poultry, prunes and prism, are all very good words for the lips."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"I felt there's a wealth in Jewish tradition, a great inheritance. I'd be a jerk not to take advantage of it."
Wealth
"I regard the writing of humor as a supreme artistic challenge."
Humor
"I learned about machinery, I learned how men behaved under pressure, and I learned about Americans."
Man
"The only imaginative fiction being written today is income tax returns."
Being
"The President has a quick and able mind, though not everybody gives him that, not by a long shot."
Mind
"Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today."
Being
"Some people think that all the equipment you need to discuss religion is a mouth."
Religion
"Illusion is an anodyne, bred by the gap between wish and reality."
Illusion
"Judaism has always been a strong interest of mine. My two sons speak Hebrew and are familiar with the scriptures and with rabbinic literature. This is the way we live."
Interest
"Discount my partiality, but my report is that so far The Winds of War is looking good."
War
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