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"The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other."
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"Politicians look for interests not people."
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Personal Development
"When men reject reason, they have no means left for dealing with one another - except brute, physical force."
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Personal Development
"Experience is in the fingers and the head. The heart is inexperienced."
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Personal Development
"And they that rule in England, in stately conclaves met, alas, alas for England they have no graves as yet."
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Personal Development
"I believe the term is 'eminent domain.'Ah, yes. That means 'theft by the government."
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Personal Development
"There is no single truth in a world ruled by many political parties."
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Personal Development
"Political or military commentators, like astrologers, can survive almost any mistake, because their more devoted followers do not look to them for an appraisal of the facts but for the stimulation of nationalistic loyalties."
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Personal Development
"Democracy is good, but it is not good for an uneducated dogmatic society. Often, that society does not know how to choose wisely."
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Personal Development
"If you have to say or do something controversial, aim so that people will hate that they love it and not love that they hate it."
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Personal Development
"Majority wins, but majority is not necessarily right and sometimes majority is awfully wrong."
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Personal Development
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"Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need."
Art
"If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep."
Government
"Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth."
Money
"So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way."
Day
"There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail."
Politics
"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."
Funny
"An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh."
People
"All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance."
Ignorance
"Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth."
People
"There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you."
Government
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