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"I have respect for beer."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I can drink on the job if I want to. I can go on stage with a beer and it's OK. I can say whatever I want. It's a great job to have."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Beer. Now there's a temporary solution."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I never had one beer. If I bought a six-pack of beer, I kept drinking till all six beers were gone. You have to have that kind of understanding about yourself. I haven't had a drink now in 12 years."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I sat backstage and had a beer with Richard Chamberlain, Paul Newman, and Princess Grace."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Yes, sir. I'm a real Southern boy. I got a red neck, white socks, and Blue Ribbon beer."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Give a man a beer, waste an hour. Teach a man to brew, and waste a lifetime!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"I had this beer brewed just for me. I think its the best I ever tasted. And I've tasted a lot. I think you'll like it too."
Author Name
Personal Development
"They drink a lotta beer, do a lotta riding around; I drink a lotta beer, do a lotta riding around."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm an old-fashioned guy... I want to be an old man with a beer belly sitting on a porch, looking at a lake or something."
Author Name
Personal Development
More
"How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand."
People
"I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'"
Wife
"I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'"
Father
"I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper."
Men
"The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks."
Evil
"He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites."
Disaster
"Whatever happened to the good ole days, when children worked in factories?"
Children
"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."
First
"I was the kid next door's imaginary friend."
Friendship
"My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing."
Computer
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