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"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it."
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"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."
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Personal Development
"A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."
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Personal Development
"It's not that I really cheat at golf. I play for my health and a low score makes me feel better."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The moment you have a self at all, there is a possibility of putting yourself first - wanting to be the centre - wanting to be God, in fact. That was the sin of Satan: and that was the sin he taught the human race. Some people think the fall of man had something to do with sex, but that is a mistake...what Satan put into the heads of our remote ancestors was the idea that they 'could be like Gods' - could set up on their own as if they had created themselves - be their own masters - invent some sort of happiness for themselves outside God, apart from God. And out of that hopeless attempt has come...the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy."
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Personal Development
"I used to think that size does not count, until I realized that most people either find other people's faeces more disgusting than a bird's droppings, or they do not find the latter disgusting at all."
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Personal Development
"Playing Solitaire is a non-smoking employee's smoke break."
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Personal Development
"Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet."
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Personal Development
"The real satire starts when I'm shockingly mocked,not mockingly shocked."
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Personal Development
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"To perceive Christmas through its wrappings becomes more difficult with every year."
Christian
"English usage is sometimes more than mere taste, judgment and education - sometimes it's sheer luck, like getting across the street."
Education
"Writing is an act of faith, not a trick of grammar."
Faith
"One of the most time-consuming things is to have an enemy."
Time
"Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of the time."
Time
"The critic leaves at curtain fall To find, in starting to review it, He scarcely saw the play at all For starting to review it."
Criticism
"The trouble with the profit system has always been that it was highly unprofitable to most people."
People
"I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day."
Balance
"A writer is like a bean plant - he has his little day, and then gets stringy."
Writing
"A good farmer is nothing more nor less than a handy man with a sense of humus."
Man
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