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"I'm gonna do the whole bedroom in camel color - it's an old lady color."
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"At one point, they offered me this part to play a drug-dealing, gun-selling butch lady. I don't know how to describe her but she had like a crew cut and stuff. I was like, 'Is this a joke?' And they said, 'No, we think it would be great because everyone would be like, 'Oh, look at what we've done to Charlotte.' I was like, 'Well I can't do that!'"

"I had met a young lady who wanted to be in the theater. It was Judy Holliday. She had somehow fallen down the steps of the Village Vanguard, which still exists today."

"To mankind in general Macbeth and Lady Macbeth stand out as the supreme type of all that a host and hostess should not be."
Explore more quotes by Amy Sedaris

"I failed first grade, which is my biggest problem. You always feel like a failure, like you're stupid."

"I really don't like going out. I don't like restaurants because I don't like the idea of someone, a waitress, being responsible for my evening. I like seconds, and more, and lots of conversation, and I've always hated the idea that in a restaurant an evening just ends. I find that incredibly depressing."

"David and Dad didn't get along too well growing up. I mean we all got along, but it was harder on David, because David wasn't going to be the son that Dad wanted. But now they're like best friends."

"I choose to do unattractive people, because then I can pretend they think they're attractive."

"My kitchen's pink, like skin-tone pink, and I lowered my spice rack so it's eye level - it's true! - and my phone, so I can reach it when I fall, it's right there."
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