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"Everybody wants to save the Earth, nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes."
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"Some virtues, when they become fashions, also become exaggerated. Just because nobody likes a judgmental attitude does not mean that there isn't a sort of spoiled, self-righteous hypocrisy when one man obsessively commands other men not to judge without knowing the circumstances without himself, too, knowing their circumstances behind their judgments."
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Personal Development
"No one could preach if he seriously looked at his own sins."
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Personal Development
"He who acquired all his wealth by 'being at the right place at the right time' is hypocritical by being angry for losing all his wealth because of his 'being at the wrong place at the wrong time.'"
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"I would think a sense of the absurd is more important for a political cartoonist, because that could define things like a sense of hypocrisy or a sense of the things one has to be skeptical about."
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"Foras Road has a sordid reputation. Old crones sat in doorways, while their daughters were pushed out to earn money. It is intriguing that a society which is very covert with sexuality should be so straightforward about prostitution."
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Personal Development
"They were Republicans, Nixon Republicans, and so didn't subscribe to the notion that laws are supposed to apply to all people equally."
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Personal Development
"Just as some people may conceal their own sinfulness thus seeming better than the norm, others expose their own sinfulness thus seeming worse than the norm."
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Personal Development
"Some people's blameless lives are to blame for a good deal."
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Personal Development
"You don't say 'they all do it' unless you know you've been doing it too."
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Personal Development
"I might be tempted to make to Christendom a proposal different from that of the Bible society. Let us collect all the New Testaments we have, let us bring them out to an open square or up to the summit of a mountain, and while we all kneel let one man speak to God thus: 'Take this book back again; we men, such as we now are, are not fit to go in for this sort of thing, it only makes us unhappy,' This is my proposal, that like those inhabitants in Gerasa we beseech Christ to depart from our borders. This would be an honest and human way of talking -- rather different from the disgusting hypocritical priestly fudge..."
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"You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going."
Children
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible."
Woman
"Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective."
Death
"Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly."
Discipline
"Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy."
Government
"Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them."
People
"You may be surprised to discover you're rich, especially if you're broke."
May
"The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person."
Nothing
"Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy."
Politics
"The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it."
Government
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