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Jon Stewart

"We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea."

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"We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea."

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Amber Hurdle

"We have once again succeeded in destroying what we could not create."

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Amber Hurdle

"You know what killed off the dinosaurs, Whateley? We did. In one barbecue."

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Amber Hurdle

"Who knew, or cared, the names of the Turks who blew the roof off the Parthenon? the mullahs who had ordered the destruction of the Buddhas at Bamiyan? Yet living or dead: their acts stood. It was the worst kind of immortality. Intentionally or no: I had extinguished a light at the heart of the world."

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Amber Hurdle

"Hundreds of millions of human beings on our planet increasingly suffer from unemployment, poverty, hunger, and the destruction of their families."

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Amber Hurdle

"We will fight race destruction through thick and thin and never CO exist voluntarily with it."

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Amber Hurdle

"As horrific as this impact has been on my constituents, it is only a small part of the overwhelming destruction covering 90,000 square miles of the Gulf Coast."

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Amber Hurdle

"I was interested in implements of mass destruction - from an academic point of view."

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Amber Hurdle

"All share complicity in the destruction of that much under-rated phenomenon called liberty."

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Amber Hurdle

"You should issue demerits for tree cutting or the destruction of humus."

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Amber Hurdle

"China is one of the world's greatest proliferators of weapons of mass destruction to these rogue nations."

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Jon Stewart
"I can be in 20 movies. But I'll never be an actor."
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Jon Stewart
"More than 150 heads of state attended the UN Summit, giving New Yorkers a chance to get in touch with prejudices they didn't even know they had."
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Jon Stewart
"Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain."
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Jon Stewart
"You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried everything. Yes, I want to look back and know that I was terrible at a variety of things."
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Jon Stewart
"Insomnia is my greatest inspiration."
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Jon Stewart
"Many of our soldiers are stationed at Camp Coyote just south of the Iraqi border. This is how you know we have a strong army, when you can actually tell your enemy exactly where your camp is and what its name is."
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Jon Stewart
"If you watch the news and don't like it, then this is your counter program to the news."
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Jon Stewart
"I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days."
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Jon Stewart
"President Bush remained undeterred by the massive display of American opposition, even though much of it came from the hundreds of thousands of voters who supported him by voting for Nader."
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Jon Stewart
"I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character."
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