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"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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Personal Development
"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."
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Personal Development
"Papa, potatoes, poultry, prunes and prism, are all very good words for the lips."
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Personal Development
"Laughter is carbonated holiness."
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Personal Development
"Well, I said, "you obviously have some power. You chased off those hooligans with rotten fruit. Perhaps you have banana-kinesis? Or you can control garbage? I once knew a Roman goddess, Cloacina, who presided over the city's sewer system. Perhaps you're related? Meg pouted. I got the impression I might have said something wrong, though I couldn't imagine what."
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Personal Development
"Alas poor Yorick! I knew him Horatio: a fellow of infinite jest of most excellent fancy."
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Personal Development
"Being called "dangerous" by a cat could mean a great many things, but it was generally delivered as something of a compliment."
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Personal Development
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"One aged man - one man - can't fill a house."
Wisdom
"A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel."
Politics
"I would have written of me on my stone: I had a lover's quarrel with the world."
Wisdom
"And were an epitaph to be my story I'd have a short one ready for my own. I would have written of me on my stone: I had a lover's quarrel with the world."
Love
"The middle of the road is where the white line is - and that's the worst place to drive."
Wisdom
"I had a lovers quarrel with the world."
Attitude
"A person will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body - the wishbone."
Attitude
"Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice."
Philosophy
"It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married."
Humor
"I hold it to be the inalienable right of anybody to go to hell in his own way."
Freedom
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