"A sick man that gets talking about himself a woman that gets talking about her baby and an author that begins reading out of his own book never know when to stop."

Humor, Self, Speech, Ego, Expression

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"A sick man that gets talking about himself a woman that gets talking about her baby and an author that begins reading out of his own book never know when to stop."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting."

Winston Churchill, English Statesman

Humor, Communication, Life, Patience

"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Procrastination, Delay, Action

"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."

Margaret Atwood, Canadian Novelist

Humor, Escape, Solitude, Space, Privacy

"This was not of the nature of a Christlike lesson for Owen Meany to learn, as he lay in the manger, that someone you hate can give you a hard-on."

John Irving, American Novelist

Humor, Observation, Religion, Truth

"Cheap booze is a false economy."

Christopher Hitchens, American Author

Humor, Economy, Choice, Alcohol

"Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft.When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Crime, Duty, Irony

"Kemp: I demonstrated conclusively this morning that invisibility--I.M: Never mind what YOU'VE DEMONSTRATED!--I'm starving, said the voice, and the night is--chilly for a man without clothes."

H. G. Wells, English Author

Humor, Observation, Survival, Humanity

"I hope you're not smoking in front of her,' Lucia says to him.'Yeah, I lie in bed and puff in her face, Lucia,' he says, irritated."

Melina Marchetta, Australian Author

Humor, Observation, Life, Interaction

"Niagara ... is the first disappointment in the married life of many Americans who spend their honeymoon there."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Disappointment, Marriage, Travel, America

"I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better."

George Carlin, American Comedian

Humor, Perspective, Life, Irony

Explore more quotes by Oliver Wendell Holmes

"The advice of the elders to young men is very apt to be as unreal as a list of the hundred best books."

Man

"The secret of my success is that at an early age I discovered I was not God."

Humility

"Beware how you take away hope from another human being."

Hope

"The man who is always worrying about whether or not his soul would be damned generally has a soul that isn't worth a damn."

Soul

"I hate being placed on committees. They are always having meetings at which half are absent and the rest late."

Society

"A new untruth is better than an old truth."

Truth

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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting."

"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."

"This was not of the nature of a Christlike lesson for Owen Meany to learn, as he lay in the manger, that someone you hate can give you a hard-on."

"Cheap booze is a false economy."

"Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft.When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big."

"Kemp: I demonstrated conclusively this morning that invisibility--I.M: Never mind what YOU'VE DEMONSTRATED!--I'm starving, said the voice, and the night is--chilly for a man without clothes."

"I hope you're not smoking in front of her,' Lucia says to him.'Yeah, I lie in bed and puff in her face, Lucia,' he says, irritated."

"Niagara ... is the first disappointment in the married life of many Americans who spend their honeymoon there."

"I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better."

Explore more quotes by Oliver Wendell Holmes

"Apology is only egotism wrong side out."

"It is very lonely sometimes, trying to play God."

"But friendship is the breathing rose, with sweets in every fold."

"Certainty generally is illusion and repose is not the destiny of man."

"The advice of the elders to young men is very apt to be as unreal as a list of the hundred best books."

"The secret of my success is that at an early age I discovered I was not God."

"Beware how you take away hope from another human being."

"The man who is always worrying about whether or not his soul would be damned generally has a soul that isn't worth a damn."

"I hate being placed on committees. They are always having meetings at which half are absent and the rest late."

"A new untruth is better than an old truth."