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"A sick man that gets talking about himself a woman that gets talking about her baby and an author that begins reading out of his own book never know when to stop."
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
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Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
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Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development
"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."
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Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
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Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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"The advice of the elders to young men is very apt to be as unreal as a list of the hundred best books."
Man
"Stupidity often saves a man from going mad."
Man
"But friendship is the breathing rose, with sweets in every fold."
Friendship
"The sound of a kiss is not so loud as that of a cannon, but its echo lasts a great deal longer."
Love
"Don't you stay at home of evenings? Don't you love a cushioned seat in a corner, by the fireside, with your slippers on your feet?"
Home
"A thought is often original, though you have uttered it a hundred times."
Thought
"The main part of intellectual education is not the acquisition of facts but learning how to make facts live."
Education
"A person is always startled when he hears himself called old for the first time."
Time
"Science is a first-rate piece of furniture for a man's upper chamber, if he has common sense on the ground floor."
Science
"Simple people... are very quick to see the live facts which are going on about them."
People
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